It’s been a struggle for me to find a balance between body, mind and spirit. It seems I would go through cycles where I would be in a slump of inactivity and depression, and then pick myself up, start working out to push myself harder, become more aware to be disciplined with my eating, go through a period of intense focus on physical activity, and find a happy moment. Then, I’d have an emotional upset that would shift me to “taking a break”. This break could sometimes last for months or close to a year of inactivity, depression, and frustration until I would once again drag myself to the gym and begin this unproductive cycle again.
Two years ago I hit my breaking point. I was sick of being on the hamster wheel that involved me going to the gym to make my body look a certain way, and so tired of constantly monitoring what I ate. I took a hard look at myself, admitted that I was just managing an eating disorder, and decided to make a change. I started learning how to eat for pleasure which meant saying yes and no to nourishing myself based on how I felt, and not on how it might make me look. For me, this also meant saying good-bye to the gym. A little extreme, but I wanted to see how my body would look based on eating for love. This sometimes meant over or under-eating, but I gave myself a break.
After a year and a half, I didn’t look that much different but I felt so different. I respected my body and learned to trust myself. The impulse to do physical activity started to become a burning desire in me for the first time, rather than something I had to do. It was at this point Lita magically came into my life. Yay!
It’s been three months now of gaining strength, mobility and overall health. I’m stronger than ever, where each part of my body feels connected as one. I know if I had to, I could kick some butt 🙂 My focus has shifted to joy and fun and I love sharing laughs in between squats, piggy backs and dead bugs with you awesome ladies. Thank you! And, thank you Lita for truly caring and empowering us to be strong. Inside and Out.